I cheated on death and he asked for divorce

We all fantasize about death. This is a poem I wrote about him. 

There is a hole where your heart should be
and you stand just there at the edge of the cliff
"Should I kill myself?"
the bottom is not empty enough
you need a bigger silence to fill the void
you scream at the top of your lungs
"Should I kill myself already?"
the echo fades...

Nothing you think will convince yourself
to take a step back
to pretend you just took a glance to see
if there was water
or there were rocks beneath
the voices in your head saying 'do it'
the iron in your blood pulling you towards
you wish you were a cat
with seven lives ahead
just so you could spare this one.

He told me sooner or later I'll come for you 
and since, I haven´t stopped running away

but the cliff keeps appearing in daddy's backyard,

in the grocery parking lot,

at school...

and death keeps staring through the windowpane of my room.

you're sure the devil is speaking
but is he talking to you?
he shows you an obituary
asks if you like it or should he put your last name first.
maybe if I say
the names of all the persons I have loved and watched leave
death will stop whispering my name
convinced, if I am a walking agony
then I don't need a black hole to be dead in.

I haven't met death since then

the day I decided my body would not hit the bottom just yet.