Our course shifted that May night,
something I didn’t want to admit—until it was too late.
My gut touched my shoulder,
whispered to change paths
before the road disappeared beneath me.
I was young. I was scared.
You had been my identity for so long,
I wasn’t sure where I ended and you began.
You say I left. I say you did too.
Somewhere between the swallowed screams,
nights we survived on ideals,
At the verge of tears when truth pressed too close to my bruises...
I should’ve left when I still had it in me.
I searched for signs
in green buses, in stars,
in the silence you wrapped around us,
like a coat we didn't dare to take off.
hoping it wasn’t real.
Somehow, I lack the words to speak.
That’s why I haven’t yet.
The language I am
is foreign.
But maybe just once,
let this reach you:
I would trade my ribs for one last hug
Your silence burrows under my skin,
settles in the hollows of my bones.
I spend my days in analogies,
weaving meaning into every stanza,
believing
that something new must be born out of the wreckage.
A map from a war
I haven’t woken up from.
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