this is a letter sent all the way from Hell, written by your dearest friend... that had your back until my very end.
Do words matter if spoken by a ghost? That’s what I became to you after the wake. I just never knew the funeral would be for myself. What were the words you whispered when you left me? “I’ll be here for you until your last breath” I guess you accomplished something for once in your life. I am long gone. Baby, are you sure you looked in every tombstone for the promises I couldn’t keep? Now every cemetery you drive by will give you shivers. reminiscing a love you left for dead. that had so much to reap. Instead of sowing... you buried. Stumbled upon a tragic ending. You are not crazy baby, someone IS talking to you. It’s me. from the grave. We’ve endured more than storms and I have the scars to prove it. We’ve been at war a couple of times. Sometimes by side. The other half, against each other. You got your way, I got mine. no one lost. We just spared a lot. dodged a bullet. Hell is just a painful memory, playing over and over. Like the time you said you didn’t love me anymore. Gut-wrenching, overwhelming anxiety, heard my heart crushed somewhere inside my body. Trapped for all eternity. I’m sure it ain’t funnier on the other line. When you have to pretend. You don’t know what happened to me, either. Confess baby. Tell them you once thought of yourself as a big boy. It’s not what you said that I’ll hold on to. It’s what you didn’t have the balls to do. Is this the way you will remember me? Angry. Disappointed. But not surprised. So be it. All the demons in hell are asking me why didn’t you love me... at least. Enough. To save me. I pretend I have somewhere to suffer instead of there. Will I ever have the courage to explain to them what happened? I am just sorry. I can’t write anything other than pain, regret, departure, burials, wake, longing, disappointment, no good in goodbye. Closing my eyes. Forever.
