Back where everything started. If I’m coming down you’re coming with me. Cursed memory. you driving now we switched seats. I never know where you’ll take me. to a cheap motel or Hell. I can't quiet my poems. they scream set me free. whatever that is. A dead lover in my bed. so many poems ago. a dream where you tell me bedtime stories each one more messed up than the last. you don’t get to love me in any. tragic. wait! can we repeat our history? I blinked. I love you. please say it back. It doesn’t matter how we decorate this ship it’s still sinking. it’s been a year lost at sea. the fire is inside this house. it’s going down to ashes. breathing in the smoke. Dead deer on the side of the road again. That’s two this month. It’s bad luck from where I am. don’t come back from where you’re hiding. you don’t love the way I call you. you only love your name. I can’t reach my bed anymore it’s too tall from all the memories I keep hiding under it. if you only call at night can it always be nighttime?. Baby, I’m your favorite nightmare. tried to change but never worked in my favor. say you’re sorry but mean it this time. all I've done was worry. I can imagine if I never met you. my notes would be empty. I’ll never leave this house even if its roof left me already. I hate wondering where you sleep. I need you to come home tonight. or tomorrow. swallow these butterflies while looking at me. I drink tequila shots now. the bartender said it would help. yes, I’m still here. I want to hear you say my name. not just an echo of it. I wonder what it’s like to call someone and not hear frustration in their voices. the story went on without me. You fell in love with the person I was pretending to be. My character is over. anytime someone asks how am I. I have to check on my pulse. to see if there’s still a heartbeat. have been sick for so long. everyone stopped visiting. lullabies that I don’t know the words to. went skinny dipping at the lake where your heart used to be. nothing but a void filled with tears. you shut my eyes and asked me to look on the bright side. then got angry I could not understand. know the definition of ‘broken’ by heart. coughing smoke from the fire. someone called my name. but I’m just what is left. a movie about endings only. it’s been one of these days every day. you sleepwalk. every night I have to stop you from digging your own grave in the backyard. and drag you to bed. It’s always time to sleep if you’re depressed enough.
R
