parte 2: Location: the gates of your heart

tell us why they say. first time never counts. but for you, it’s the only one that did. How your bad dreams are. you standing halfway at the bridge you once gave away your first kiss. only to find out it burned. Some things we write to keep alive. sometimes paper it’s the only graveyard I can afford. we learn to live with the expectations on our shoulders. no wonder why moving on is a question. it’s not hard. it’s heavy. Someday we will be refugees too. we ran out of second chances. Don’t say the L word. I tried to write to you. but I don’t think you’ll be getting any letters in Hell. I’ll confess my sins if God puts a plea bargain on the table. I have a thing for men whose hands shake while praying. I leave a piece of me in any place I feel sad in. my lies follow me to every town. a little dose of drama to spice things. Used to fuck things up. your heart like a ticking bomb. each beat it takes. I feel it’ll set it off. don’t talk about forever when you can’t even stay the night. I’m future-blind. they say when you can’t see the future you’re bound to die. Have been trying to contact you. maybe I got the number wrong. or the phones are way too busy in hell. either way, I’ll stop. You wouldn’t have wanted me to understand. that not all birds sing happy songs. not all princesses get a happy ending. the body buried in your backyard... babe it is just a symptom. What’s your illness?. I’m sorry but. who started the rumor that time heals everything? It should be almost anything. it should be ‘when it wants to’. cuz time stretches its hours... just to see you cry. you wake up. suddenly you are on the same bridge. you once gave true love's kiss. the love you felt. also the fear. tell us why the love faded. but the fear stayed in. Past the invitation. I stood @ the gates of your heart for so long. I’m sorry they never opened for me. r

Cemetery

You keep telling yourself it's all going to be fine

but how long have you been wearing thin?

do you ever believe it?

You think of yourself as reckless

taking a walk to the cemetery

to look at the graves,

thinking

of all the funerals you could've cried in

but didn't attend.

How many versions of you have died?

I found you in the cemetery looking for who you used to be

tombstones as open books but you don't know how to read

thinking of all the wakes you skipped.

tell us about the day your father found you

digging a grave in the backyard of his house

you still haven't told us for whom it would have been

I always assumed you were trying to bury your feelings

at least I wanted to believe

just promise to go back and say you are sorry.

I know you left for good reasons

I just keep on looking for them

how many times can you visit a tomb? before you realize it's too late

they say it takes time

but how long?

seasons keep changing but your heart does not thaw.

I still visit your tomb from time to time

after all

it is the only place my heart is listened.